Mothers’ Day

All you Moms out there – have a happy day today!
Mine started at 5.16 a.m. sharp when the little monkey woke up and was no way going back to sleep again. Not exactly the kind of kickstart for the day I had in mind. It got better though. Shortly after the smallest was up also the two bigger monkeys were wide awake and without discussing agreed to keep an eye on their little brother and keep themselves company and busy so hubby and I could stay in bed for another hour of sleep.
When it was eventually time for me to get up, too, I got spoiled with loads of hand- and love-made presents from my kids:


It kind of brought me back to those days when I myself was actually making presents for my Mom on Mothers’s Days, instead of just running down to the shops at the last minute to simply buy her something. I know my middle monkey spent a whole afternoon, say 3 to 4 hours, this last week to make my present! All by himself, behind closed doors. Miss Monkey was quicker and more self-dependent but the great card she gave me was all hand- and love-made, too.

Also, I am glad we decided to take our own Moms and also one of my Grandmas out to celebrate today. We drove out to the country with them, took them to a lovely, picturesque, refurbished castle where we had a remarkably delicious brunch all together. It was a glorious, happy morning and it also made my own Mothers’ Day really perfect.

I am especially happy and grateful today because very early this morning I had to learn of the death of a woman I know. I cannot even say we were close friends because we were not. I got to know her when living in Australia; she worked with my husband and we occasionally met. She died this morning after battling cancer. She and her family are beyond brave and positive and strong. They had to bear more than anybody can possibly bear and they never gave up. She was a Mom, too, and she died on Mothers’ Day morning leaving two small kids and a husband, a family, friends, people who knew her and who were happy to have her in their lives. I feel overly sad to know that she’s gone because she of all people would have deserved to win this battle. And I feel grateful and blessed to be here, happy and healthy, with my kids, husband, family and friends happy and healthy, too.

Katja, I know you are up there and keep an eye on your dear ones. I wish from now on, there will only be sunshine for you on every single day, because this is the least you deserve.

Experiences of the sad kind

This last week was difficult for us, especially for my big Miss Monkey. She had to make her first real Farewell-experience. The first one of her life and even if this farewell will probably – hopefully – not be one of the final kind it’s hurting just as much: Her best friend EVER is moving. She is not just moving district, city or state – she is moving continents. She will live in Singapore from September on, more than 10.000 kilometers away from here, from us, from my poor big Miss Monkey. The day the news were released my girl cried her heart out. I’ve never seen her so, so, SO sad before and I’ve hardly ever felt so powerless. Whatever I would say or do to comfort her, to point out the positives, the prospects, she just wouldn’t stop crying. She cried on and on for hours, always repeating the same worries: „Why?“ – „Why can’t we move with her?“ – „She’ll surely forget me as soon as she gets there.” – „She’ll surely have another BFE in no time and THEN she’ll forget me.“ Until she finally had no more tears let to cry.

I think, part of her worries are qualified, sadly:
Of course her friend will make new friends, thank God! What if she wouldn’t?
Of course it’ll take more than just thinking of each other to maintain this friendship.
Of course we cannot move with them. Regrettably. Thankfully.
All that didn’t matter on that particular day anyway as my girl was so overly sad that nothing could manage to help. She had to take her time to suffer and grieve. For the best friend she’d ever had in her life, the first and the best. The one who is closer to her than any other person her age. The one she shares her secrets and sorrows with. The one she envies most and loves the most at the same time. The one who’s still here but actually half-way gone already.

Maybe part of why I couldn’t quite comfort my Miss Monkey was that I was grieving, too. Not only have the girls become close since they started school 3 years ago, but so have us Moms. I myself will have to let go of a dear, close, reliable friend, too.
The other mom is the most generous, helpful, kind and giving person I’ve known in a very long time, and even thinking about not having her around anymore brings tears to my eyes. I will miss her badly and I know she’ll miss us, too. That makes it even worse.

I know this cannot keep up with the big issues of the world. But for my little girl this is major.

Still we cannot change what is set. But we can make the best of what’s left – 6 months to enjoy each others friendship and company. And we can exploit the chances offered by this loss. At least we can try.